Coping with Disappointment

Everyone faces some kind of disappointment in life. Small or big, doesn’t matter. The thing that makes a difference is how a person copes with it. There are people who choose to sit around and whine about it, while there are some who try to cope with it the best they can. I’m not saying there is a right and a wrong way to cope with disappointment, but in my opinion, there is some stuff you can do to make disappointment easier for you.

Disappointment is just the action of your brain readjusting itself to reality after discovering things are not the way you thought they were.

-Brad Warner

Emotion. Let yourself figure out what this means to you. Evaluate the whole situation and don’t be afraid to express your emotion about it, but be careful to be respectful and don’t hurt anyone by doing that. Don’t forget that your feelings matter and nobody can tell you-you are wrong. Be honest with yourself and others.

Don’t take it personally. Evaluate what are the reasons for disappointment/rejection. You know, sometimes it’s not you who is rejected, it’s the ideas.

Look at the bigger picture. Look at the things that are happening around that, meaning look at where you are at this point of life and what is happening to you around this event. Try to think how much will this impact on your tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and on your future.

In 20 years, you will be more disappointed by what you didn’t do than by what you did.

-Mark Twain

Breathe in. Breathe out. Take a deep breath. Go out in nature and spend some time with yourself. Take time to reflect. Step away from the situation because it will help you calm your nerves. Therefore you will be better able to handle the disappointment.

You are not the only one. You probably hear that a lot, but it’s true. Remember that thousands and millions of people get rejected and disappointed every day. Think of the world where every one of them would keep being sad for every small rejection. I am not equating you to others, what I am trying to say is that you are not alone in this.

You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won’t happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.’

Keep yourself happy and engaged. Take up the responsibility, even thought that most probably that is not the first thing you want to do. You have to be a creator of change. You are the one responsible for your happiness. The more you think about a negative strand, more you keep feeling bad about yourself.

Take things as a challenge. What most people do is to feel bad about themselves. It’s not your fault because it kind of happens naturally. But just accept it that you can’t always have it your way. Remember: rejection is not an action directed to you, but you can use it well only if you decide to. The choices are always in your hands and you just have to decide which choice you will go to. You can either feel bad or start working on a change. The results will depend on which you focus on.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.  

-Dalai Lama

Do not give up! Remember, any person has faced with disappointment. Winners don’t quit. They learn from their mistakes and go on to achieve their goals. You should not allow that disappointment lowers your self-confidence.

You can become your own motivator. Never underestimate the power of encouraging yourself.

 

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Taking Care Of Your Skin

Skin is a tricky thing. Everyone’ skin is different and requires different treatments, meaning there is not an absolute universal product that would result in getting a clear skin. If you are born with clear skin, then may I just say: Lucky you!

Other people, well, we have to work to get that somewhat clear skin and trying out various creams, pills, treatments that are being prescribed by dermatologists. And guess what? They all cost a ton of money. They rarely work or they work for the first couple of days/weeks and they suddenly stop. So you know what? I have some tips for you that are not in any shape or form advertisement for a specific product.

 

WHAT HELPED ME CLEAR MY SKIN?

You are what you eat. This is actually true because your skin is built from what is on the inside. So nourish your body with the high amount of minerals, vitamins, antioxidants and you will be doing yourself much good.

Quality product. Even though skin is built from the inside out, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t watch what you put on the top. Like I already said, every skin is different, so you have to find your favourite make-up brand that works for you, so it might take some trial and error.

Clean your face. While we are on the topic of makeup, this is quite an important step. I don’t think you have to have an explanation for that, as it is really straight forward. Just don’t go to sleep with makeup on.

Get essential sleep. I am not saying I am the best person to give you this advice, but it is recommended that you sleep at least 8 hours a night. It might sound hard, but… Sorry, I can’t say it is not hard because I really struggle with that a lot. So try your best to sleep as much as possible, but not too much as well. You know what they say. Beauty sleep is the best.

Bed sheets and hair. I think that if you have bangs, your forehead is going to get oily faster. It happened to me a lot when I had them, but once I have cut them, it got a little bit better in my opinion. Also, don’t forget to change your bed sheets and pillow sheets often, as they have a big impact on how your skin will look like, because of all the bacteria that holds on to them.

Drink water. Or H2O if you prefer this term. Staying hydrated is essential for your body so that it can function normally. Remember, thirst is the first sign of dehydration, so keep a water bottle with you at all times and make sure to refill it regularly.

Exercise. Yeah. Some people might not like this idea, but a girl’ gotta do what a girl’ gotta do. Find the exercise you enjoy doing or bring a friend with you and that way you will enjoy it. And don’t forget, that exercise is great for your overall health and has a lot of positive effects, but more on the exercise itself some other time.

Alkaline your body. Okay, I am going to bother you with just a little bit of chemistry. Don’t worry, it’s nothing complex, only basics, that you probably already know. Our body has different pH levels and high levels can lead to acne, digestive issues, discomfort… The average person tends to lean towards the acidic side (some drugstores provide pH strips to measure yourself). Balancing pH levels first thing in the morning can lead to clearer skin and reduced inflammation. How do you do this? Drink water with lemon or add some apple vinegar to a glass of water.

The most important thing about clear skin is, of course, hormones and genes. So it is not always your fault for an unclear skin. Just don’t compare yourself with models who have their ‘imperfections’ photoshopped.

Stay healthy, guys!

 

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The Art of Adulting 2

More things about life and succesful adulting, from a bonafide adult:

  • There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
  • Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
  • Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
  • Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
  • DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
  • If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
  • Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
  • If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
  • Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
  • Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently.
  • Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
  • Sales, coupons, and loyalty cards are your friends. Take full advantage of them.
  • Do your laundry as often as time and finances allow, and pay attention to those labels! Clothes will last longer if they are washed properly. Also, if you have sensitive skin, there are detergents for that. Nobody wants itchy clothes.
  • Own at least two pairs of comfortable shoes. One should be for walking or jogging, the other should be for nicer things like the office or going out to a nice restaurant. Your feet will thank you.
  • Those unmatched socks whose mates have fecked off to Paris or something can be reused as dusting sleeves. Pull it over your hand, spritz it with some Pledge or other dusting cleaner, and wipe down your furniture and surfaces.
  • It’s important to dust and vacuum regularly. It prevents the build-up of allergens, mold spores, leftover sick germs, bad smells, and general yuckiness. If you can thrift or secondhand a vacuum cleaner, DO IT. They can be expensive, especially if you’re on a budget.
  • If you have pets, clean up after them DAILY and make sure they always have access to fresh, clean water. Wash out their bowls at least once a week.
  • If your tap water smells like pool water or doesn’t taste right, don’t drink it. It may be palatable, but some areas may have chemicals or heavy metals in the water supply that can cause you lots of problems. Purchase gallons from the store if you need to, and don’t skimp on giving it to the pets.
  • Invest in a set of baking dishes and a decent set of tupperware. They’re fairly inexpensive and you can always ask you folks for it for Christmas. Baking dishes greatly increase the number of things you can cook quickly and easily, and those storage containers will hold leftovers.

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Surviving a Boring Lecture

Everyone has been in one of it. The problem occurs, when you perceive every lecture as one.

Scare yourself straight. “If I don’t pay attention to this lesson and remember every single sentence the teacher says I’ll never get into college. If I don’t get into college, I’m never going to earn my degree. I’ll end up 35 years old, still living with my parents and no hopes of getting my own house and family. No one will respect or dare depend on me for advice or anything. Say those words to yourself, share yourself that way and you will pay attention.

Even A students get bored at times by lectures.  What is the difference between the A student and the C student?  Their approach to the lecture.  Don’t let “boring” become an excuse for not showing up to class.  Dive right in, sit near the front, buy a coffee, and simply face the fact that you will be less than entertained for a couple of hours.  Get in the mental game and you will survive.

Note Focus Since the teacher is boring, you need to find something you can make interesting. While I usually don’t recommend note taking unless the student really enjoys the process, this is a time when note taking can be a huge advantage.

When you take notes, you give your brain an explicit purpose in listening to the teacher speak. If you’re not writing something down on your sheet of paper then you instantly know you’re probably not paying enough attention. While you shouldn’t try to get down every word the teacher says, if keeping up with the teacher is an absolute breeze then continue trying to write down more. This process forces you to focus on the teacher despite the lecture being boring. It gives you a clear and measurable objective when it comes to focus. If at the end of the class, you have no notes written down then you definitely failed. If you have pages of notes written down then, whether you enjoyed it or not, you at least focused a little through the lecture.

The Subject – Not The Speaker  Make sure you’re focusing on the subject of the boring lecture instead of the speaker. Focusing on a person that talks too slow or speaks in a monotone voice can be downright painful. If you want to put up with it then it’s usually best to focus as much of your energy on the subject as you can. Don’t try to hear the teacher’s enthusiasm. Don’t listen to emotional content. Listen as if the teacher is just a computer reading off something. Listen mechanically instead of emotionally.

This is a process of distancing yourself from your own emotions. Do everything you can to keep all your emotional energy on your own representation of the information you’re being told. By focusing on that you can limit your distraction and boredom during the worst of it.

Absolutely read the material before class.  If you are unfamiliar with the course material then it will only magnify the boredom.  Not reading would be like signing up for a book club, going to the gathering but never bothering to open the book. How boring!  Be sure to prepare and stay in the loop.  When you are reading the material create possible questions to ask in class (if the professor takes questions).  Participating in class speeds up time for you.  And, you never know, your question could prompt others to speak up and the class could take an intriguing turn.  Dare I suggest, you might enjoy the class then.

Do not take out your phone to answer, chat or read emails.  Again, this will make the boredom worse.  You are essentially running away from the problem by turning to the cell phone rather than confronting the issue head on.  This is a C student response.  Moreover, it is a bad habit.  After college, you might find yourself in other boring situations like work meetings.  It is not a good (or beneficial) idea to tune out and gravitate to your phone while others are talking.  Indeed, there will be times when your good friends bore you!  Would you take out your phone while they talk?  Of course not.  For class time, strengthen your concentration abilities and keep the phone in your bag.

Through The Motions If you’re absolutely desperate to focus then eventually, it’s best to focus on going through the motions. If you learn to go through the motions of focusing then you’ll eventually start actually focusing on the subject. It’s virtually automatic. If you can’t force yourself to focus mentally than just forcing yourself to go through the motions will be able to get you most of the way there. When you go through the motions you’re giving your brain the signals that you’re trying to focus on the subject. Most of the time, your brain follows the motions you put your physical body through

 

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Resume Template: Grey&White

Already have a resume or CV but it looks dull and boring? Well, use this (or one of them that are being published in this series) and make your resume pop out.

Down below you have a download file for .psd (Photoshop) file that you can edit so it will fit your needs.

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[Download]

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Don’t forget to share this post so others can spice up their resume as well.

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The Art of Adulting 1

Some things about life and succesful adulting, from a bonafide adult:

  • Even if you get along great with your family, you will get along even better with them after moving out
  • Generic is almost always just as good as name brand
  • Just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist
  • You will go to the store to buy something under 10€ and your card will get rejected. No one will judge
  • Thrift stores
  • Everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them, to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
  • You will screw up. A lot. You live and you learn. And when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
  • Do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
  • You can’t put dishsoap in the dishwasher.
  • If you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
  • Never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
  • The best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
  • Sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness.
  • Do not buy generic brand spaghetti sauce either.
  • Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.
  • Dollar store batteries work just as well as store brand.
  • Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
  • Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
  • Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice. Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
  • Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

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