How To Make Friends As An Adult

Okay, so this is a post on how to make friends as an out-of-school adult—or how to make friends in general. As a usually-sociable adult-type person, I’m here to give you some ideas on how to find these mythical creatures we call friends.

The easiest way to make friends is through common interests: hobbies, sports, culture, religion, etc. But how do you find people who share these common interests with you? Let’s see…

Volunteering: 
Do you like helping people, animals, and plants in need? Then consider joining a volunteer organisation! This is a great way to make friends while lending a helping hand to those who need it. You can search for volunteer opportunities at your local community center, library, church, or shelter by just going in or calling by phone. You can also search for opportunities online via a few search engines.
A good tip is to keep volunteering with the same organisation for multiple events. You’ll be more likely to run into the same people, and that will give you a good “in” to start a nice, shiny new friendship! I’ve been volunteering at the same place for the last 3 years, and I’ve made several close friends with staff members and volunteers alike.

Community Organisations:
Community Organisations (CO’s) are a great way to meet people who both live near you and maybe share common interests with you! CO’s include churches, volunteer organisations (see above), community recreation centres, and more. Do you like to dance? Maybe join a Zumba class at your local Park District or gym. Maybe you want to learn a new skill and your local Park District or Historical Society is holding a blacksmithing class. Fire, brimstone, and friendship for the win! Or maybe you want to worship your god or deity or whatever and plan on joining a church. Or maybe your local game centre is holding a MarioKart tournament. If you’re going to a CO once a week, you are bound to see the same people over and over again—easy path to friendship!

Sports and Recreation:
Maybe you’re a more physically active individual? Running gets high or something like that? Then meet more like-minded people! Join a gym or maybe work out at your local YMCA. There are also groups of people who meet everyday and go hiking, running, biking together,…  Or you can check out if your local park district has a gym or pool, as well. Try searching local community boards or internet spaces for biking groups, ultimate Frisbee teams, or even tennis buddies.

Work:
Yes, you can be friends with your coworkers (and not just ‘facebook friends’). This can be somewhat tricky depending on your work environment. If you are a good employee and coworker—pull your own weight, arrive on time, don’t pull stupid crap—then it can be really easy to make friends at work. Some of my favourite people are former coworkers.
The downside to having coworkers as friends is when one of you leaves for a new job, and you see each other less. Then you have to put in the effort to remain friends. After all, it’s easy being friends with someone you see often.

Home:
Aw, yess. You can make friends at home. This may be hard for those of you who live in homes that are isolated from your neighbours, but for anyone dwelling in apartments, condos, duplexes, or even the ‘burbs, you have potential friends living, like, right  next to you. Seriously. If you recently moved, making friends with your neighbours is as easy as going next door and introducing yourself. “Hi, I’m [your name here, bitch], and I just moved into this building. I just wanted to introduce myself to the neighbours and get to know everyone a little bit.” Or if someone new has moved in, you can go over and say hello, as well (welcome them to the neighbourhood and stuff). This will not always be 100% successful, as people are kind of wary of strangers these days, but if you’re nervous, you can always just do a friendly wave and smile. Eventually, you may just start speaking to each other regularly.
Heck, some apartment and/or condo complexes have these common room area things or gyms or pools that make perfect places to get to know your neighbours and hunt out potential friends. The apartment management may even throw holiday parties or summer fun events or whatever that will enable you to meet people, too (and there’s usually free food too)

So go forth, fellow adults, and find some friends! I believe in you!!

-The Sudden Adult

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The Idea Of Moving Out

Do you finally think that you are that that age, where you need/want your own freedom and independence? Or, are your parents telling you day by day, that you should finally find yourself own place and move out? No matter what, it’s a huge decision and a big step into the ‘adulthood’. The plan is that you move out for good, meaning you backup plan can be moving back with your parents, but let’s say that is not the ultimate plan.

ARE YOU REALLY READY?

Meaning financially and mentally. Living by yourself is a great deal, meaning there is no mum who prepares your meals when you come home from work/school and dad can’t help you with changing the tires on your car. Well, depending on how far you moved, but let’s say that we go from one extreme to another.

Cooking, cleaning, budgeting,… This maybe won’t happen the very first month you are leaving by yourself, but let me tell you. You will miss a home cooked meal and after weeks with mess all over the apartment, you will be disgusted with yourself and clean it. Or maybe cleaning being the procrastination method used to avoid other, more important work. And budgeting? Well, saving money is always a plus.

If you can, I would start planning way way in advance.

DO YOU HAVE FINANCES PREPARED?

Look, it’s not just rent and food. It would be simple. Think about all of the expenses. By that, I mean all of them, like shopping trips, detergents, hair salons, personal hygiene products. Everything. Overestimate things, because it’s better to have more in your bank account than a minus before the number.

Also, start building an emergency fund. I know, so adulty right? But, take away some money from every income you have and start saving towards safe point. You never know what might happen, whatever with your job, anywhere. They say that it’s best to have the equivalent of 6 months worth of expenses saved in your bank account, but even a 2-3 months can be good. If you can, I would advise having that kind of money before you even move out, so that you can go panic free into the new world of independence.

THINK OF THE OPTIONS

Okay, the basics are covered, now the hunt. If you are moving to a new city, is maybe the best idea to share the place with roommates. Sharing the expenses and experience, they can show you around and If you find good ones, boom, instant friends. Also, the workload is usually split up, group dinners, washing the clothes in one round,…

If you are financially stable, well, good for you. You can live alone, but that of course means, that you carry all of the expenses on your own. Rent, utilities, appliances are all on you.  But, you have more space and privacy.

APARTMENT HUNTING

There are certain times of the year where more options are available than others, so research when this is in your new area of living to ensure the best possible selection. Choose wisely tho. Research the areas, infrastructure with buses, parking if you have a car, supermarkets,… Go and look at the rooms, check the signal of your phone, take pictures so you can compare later.

THAT TRICKY LEASE PART

Read it and then read it again. After you are finished, go ahead and read it again. Not to scare you, but some of them can be a little sneaky. See if it includes the internet or not, free parking, who cares about the maintenance costs of the whole building,… Those little things you maybe don’t think about but they are pretty important and are usually the things where you lose money.

MOVING DAY

Don’t worry, you will forget some things. A month or two and you should be good, get all of your basics sorted off. When I first moved out, I forgot to bring the cutlery with me. So yeah, let’s say that you probably won’t think of everything, so keep a notepad with you, that you write down everything you forgot. Buut, more on that coming soon.

Don’t live just to work or work just to live.

I know, money is a big subject in this theme, but in my opinion, it’s important that you don’t work just to get all your dues paid and be without money at the end of your month. Live within your means, save up a little so you can maybe go somewhere nice, buy something nice to pamper yourself. It’s not all about those extra shifts and hours, live a little too.

Move out, start on your personal growth and on your own life. You are officially an adult now. Well, adult-ish. I think. What actually makes an adult is still an unknown answer.

 

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Reaching Your Full Potential

Ever wonder what your life would be like if you lived up to your full potential? Would your body be healthier? Your skin clearer? Bank account bigger? I think about these things all the time, and, judging my a previous post, you guys do to. Below is a chart designed to help all of us live up to our full potential. I’ve broken it down into time frames to help keep you from getting overwhelmed. Write the chart down and hang it someplace where you can see it all the time.

EVERY MORNING

  • Stretch. First thing. Really give your body enough time to wake up. Touch your toes. Roll out your shoulders. Do not hit snooze!
  • Do your full skincare routine. Do whatever works for you and your complexion. Be gentle and consistent.
  • Brush your teeth and floss. I used to be a big floss-skipper too, but you’d be amazed at how dig of a difference it makes. Rinse with a whitening mouthwash. I use one by Crest, and I notice a major difference in my teeth’s overall whiteness in just a few days.
  • Give yourself enough time to get ready. Whether you’re a wash-and-go kind of girl, or someone who spends an hour doing a full contouring routine before class (and either one is fine!), make sure you aren’t rushing. If you need to wake up a few minutes earlier than normal, so be it. Rushing sets an awful, stressed-out tone for the rest of the day. Allow yourself to be relaxed before taking on the day.
  • Eat something. I’m not going to say eat a big breakfast, because some people (myself included) just can’t eat in the morning. But you should eat, or at least bring a little something with you to work or school. If you can’t eat a full breakfast, grab a fruit! You won’t be as hungry come lunch time, making you less likely to gorge yourself.
  • Shower. You can do this at night, in the morning, whatever. Again, this is something you should allow some time for. I don’t wash my hair every day, but I do condition it every day (from the ears down). Scrub yourself with a delicious-smelling body wash. If you shave, make yourself as smooth as a dolphin, dude. If you don’t, then don’t and don’t ever ever ever let anyone make you feel bad or weird about it. When you get out of the shower, wrap yourself in a fluffy towel and totally slather your sexy self with lotion. Top to bottom. Do it as soon as you can post-shower so it can really sink in.
  • Put leave-in condition throughout your damp hair and comb it through.
  • Put on an outfit that makes you feel good! So important!
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Take a look at your daily to-do list. Knock out the most pressing stuff first. Take pride when you cross things off your list.
  • Make your bed! Oh my god, make your bed. Do it. Do it. Do it.

EVERY AFTERNOON

  • Follow the “touch it once” approach. This is a truly life-changing thing. When a task is in front of you, no matter how big or small, just do it right then and there. How many times have you gotten a work email or homework assignment and thought, “Eh, I’ll do it later”? And then later never comes? Once something pops up, do it once. Squash it and be done. Cross things off your list and feel like a badass.
  • Try to go for a walk at lunch. Even one little lap around the block or campus will reenergize you like nobody’s business.
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Be present. This is so hard for me too, but you have to make a major effort to be present in whatever you’re doing. Be engaged and plugged-in and just exist in the moment. Give 100 percent.
  • Be friendly to friends and strangers. A smile goes a long way.
  • Eat something. Eat what you packed for lunch (see below) and take a break from working while you do it. You need “you time”!

EVERY EVENING

  • Take your makeup off as soon as you’re in for the night. Wash your face with your full routine and let your skin have a break.
  • Workout. You can also do this in the morning. Whatever works for you. Make a great playlist and go hard af. Get your cardio in. Get your strength training in. Earn every freaking sweat bead forming on your forehead. Earn your shower!
  • Knock out your homework. Life is infinitely better you don’t have anything hanging over your head. Half the time, the energy and emotion you spent dreading/putting off your work is ten times worse than the work itself.
  • Make a list of what needs to be done tomorrow. It’ll set you up for success the next day, and you won’t forget anything!
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Lay out your clothes for tomorrow. This will save you SO MUCH TIME in the morning omg I can’t even tell you how important this is.
  • Eat something great. And once you’ve decided to be done eating for the night, be done. Brush your teeth so you can’t eat again.
  • After brushing, do a whitening treatment. Whether it’s classic baking soda, a Crest white strip, or a laser. Do something. And floss! Retainers in too, ladies 0:)
  • Relax! Take a few hours to do what YOU want to do. Scroll through Tumblr, binge on some Netflix, FaceTime gossip with your friends, anything. Do whatever makes you happiest.
  • Shut the electronics off an hour before you want to go to bed. Put your phone on sleep mode. If you stare at the screen, it will keep you awake and alert and you won’t be able to fall asleep. A good night’s sleep is crucial for weightless and general happiness lol
  • Do a quick sweep of your room and see if there’s anything you can put away real quick. A clean space is a happy space.
  • Crawl into your bed (aren’t you happy you took the time to make it?!) and read a book by lamplight for a while. When you start to feel sleepy, go to sleep. Don’t push it. You kicked ass today and you deserve rest.

EVERY WEEKEND

  • Do something with your friends. It just has to be one thing. Even if you’re just hanging out at the coffee shop, spending time with your squad will make you a better, happier person.
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Do something just for you. Set your laptop up in the bathroom and watch a Netflix marathon while you take a bubble bath. Buy an old school bottle of Mr. Bubbles ($3 at Target!) and really just soak. Relax. Light a candle.
  • Do something creative. You can read a book, write, blog, draw, code, anything. It just has to be something that speaks to your passion.
  • Track your progress. Just do this once a week so it doesn’t become all-consuming. And remember that non-scale victories are just as important as shedding pounds.
  • Take the time to be grateful. Tell your friend how much you admire her taste in music. Mention to your mom how much you love her cooking and how happy you are that she takes care of you. Thank your teaching after an especially interesting lecture. When you do something awesome, take a moment to admire yourself. Be grateful for even the little things.

 

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The Art of Adulting 3

More things about life and succesful adulting, from a bonafide adult:

  • Invest in a durable set of pots and pans, a package of sponges, decent oven mitts, and a few potholders. You will want them.
  • Never leave wooden utensils in water. They will soften and warp. These need to be cleaned immediately after use.
  • Sticky pots and pans can be soaked to make scrubbing easier. You can also get a little scrubby brush to help take the crusty bits off. Just be careful that you don’t scrub off the nonstick coating, and NEVER use soap on a wok or a cast-iron frying pan.
  • Buy quart-sized freezer bags and use them to store single pounds of ground beef, pairs of chicken breasts, fish filets, frozen fruits and veggies…anything that needs freezing. You can save a lot of money on food that way. Just make sure that you press the air out of the bag before sealing it and write on the label what’s in the bag and the date you put it in the freezer.
  • You can “day-dot” with leftovers too, so you’re not wondering if that Chinese takeaway is still good when it’s on the point of gaining sentience and needed to be chucked three days ago.
  • On that note, takeaway food is good for about two days as leftovers, if you get it into proper containers and into the fridge right away. If you leave it sitting out all night, it’s no good.
  • If you’re going to reheat something in the microwave, put a paper towel over it to prevent splashing, especially if it’s something like chili or pasta.
  • Check allrecipes.com for easy meals you can make for very little money or with whatever you happen to have in the house.
  • Ice cube trays. Always have two and keep them filled in hot weather.
  • Put a pad of paper somewhere in your kitchen that you use as a grocery list. If you want to make a certain dish, write down the ingredients before you go to the store. If you run out of something, write it down for your next trip. Few things are more frustrating that getting home from a trip to the market and realizing you forgot something you really needed.
  • Buy toilet paper and paper towels in bulk whenever possible. Just do it. Trust me. And ALWAYS replace the roll the second it runs out, or you’ll regret it later.
  • Clean your bathroom at least as often as you clean your kitchen. There’s a similar amount of daily activity going on in there and just as much opportunity for grossness to happen. A simple spray cleaner, some disinfecting wipes, a few paper towels, and a Magic Eraser should get the job done. (Seriously, those things live up to their name!)
  • If you or a roommate get sick, clean EVERYTHING the second you get better. Use disinfecting wipes on things like sinks, doorknobs, and tabletops. Try to keep dirty tissues contained; plastic grocery bags are GREAT for this and you can just toss them when they’re full.
  • If your financial institution offers online banking, USE IT. Check your balance daily. You don’t have to know to a penny what’s in your account, but you should be aware of where your funds are, when your bills are due, and what you can afford to spend on groceries.

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The Art of Adulting 2

More things about life and succesful adulting, from a bonafide adult:

  • There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
  • Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
  • Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
  • Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
  • DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
  • If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
  • Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
  • If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
  • Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
  • Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently.
  • Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
  • Sales, coupons, and loyalty cards are your friends. Take full advantage of them.
  • Do your laundry as often as time and finances allow, and pay attention to those labels! Clothes will last longer if they are washed properly. Also, if you have sensitive skin, there are detergents for that. Nobody wants itchy clothes.
  • Own at least two pairs of comfortable shoes. One should be for walking or jogging, the other should be for nicer things like the office or going out to a nice restaurant. Your feet will thank you.
  • Those unmatched socks whose mates have fecked off to Paris or something can be reused as dusting sleeves. Pull it over your hand, spritz it with some Pledge or other dusting cleaner, and wipe down your furniture and surfaces.
  • It’s important to dust and vacuum regularly. It prevents the build-up of allergens, mold spores, leftover sick germs, bad smells, and general yuckiness. If you can thrift or secondhand a vacuum cleaner, DO IT. They can be expensive, especially if you’re on a budget.
  • If you have pets, clean up after them DAILY and make sure they always have access to fresh, clean water. Wash out their bowls at least once a week.
  • If your tap water smells like pool water or doesn’t taste right, don’t drink it. It may be palatable, but some areas may have chemicals or heavy metals in the water supply that can cause you lots of problems. Purchase gallons from the store if you need to, and don’t skimp on giving it to the pets.
  • Invest in a set of baking dishes and a decent set of tupperware. They’re fairly inexpensive and you can always ask you folks for it for Christmas. Baking dishes greatly increase the number of things you can cook quickly and easily, and those storage containers will hold leftovers.

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Resume Template: Grey&White

Already have a resume or CV but it looks dull and boring? Well, use this (or one of them that are being published in this series) and make your resume pop out.

Down below you have a download file for .psd (Photoshop) file that you can edit so it will fit your needs.

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[Download]

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Don’t forget to share this post so others can spice up their resume as well.

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The Art of Adulting 1

Some things about life and succesful adulting, from a bonafide adult:

  • Even if you get along great with your family, you will get along even better with them after moving out
  • Generic is almost always just as good as name brand
  • Just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist
  • You will go to the store to buy something under 10€ and your card will get rejected. No one will judge
  • Thrift stores
  • Everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them, to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
  • You will screw up. A lot. You live and you learn. And when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
  • Do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
  • You can’t put dishsoap in the dishwasher.
  • If you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
  • Never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
  • The best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
  • Sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness.
  • Do not buy generic brand spaghetti sauce either.
  • Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.
  • Dollar store batteries work just as well as store brand.
  • Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
  • Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
  • Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice. Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
  • Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

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