How To Make Friends As An Adult

Okay, so this is a post on how to make friends as an out-of-school adult—or how to make friends in general. As a usually-sociable adult-type person, I’m here to give you some ideas on how to find these mythical creatures we call friends.
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The Idea Of Moving Out

Do you finally think that you are that that age, where you need/want your own freedom and independence? Or, are your parents telling you day by day, that you should finally find yourself own place and move out? No matter what, it’s a huge decision and a big step into the ‘adulthood’. The plan is that you move out for good, meaning you backup plan can be moving back with your parents, but let’s say that is not the ultimate plan.

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Pieces Of Advice You Didn’t Ask For

1. Ignore 1-star and 5-star reviews of books, hotels and products. The 3-star reviews will answer all your questions.
2. When you’re a host, use that experience to learn how to be a better guest, and vice-versa.

3. If you want to be fit, become someone who doesn’t skip or reschedule workouts. Skipping workouts is always the beginning of the end.

4. Learn keyboard shortcuts. If you don’t know what CTRL + Z does, your life is definitely harder than it has to be.

5. Become a stranger’s secret ally, even for a few minutes. Your perception of strangers in general will change.

6. Get over the myth that philosophy is boring — it has a history of changing lives. It’s only as boring as the person talking about it.

7. If you’re about to put down a boring a non-fiction book, skim the rest of it before you move on. Read the bits that still appeal to you.

8. Ask yourself if you’ve become a relationship freeloader. Initiate the plans about half the time.

9. Notice how much you talk in your head, and experiment with listening to your surroundings instead. You can’t do both at the same time.

10. Reach out to people you know are shy. It’s hard for them to get involved in social things without somebody making a point of including them.

11. Learn the difference between something that makes you feel bad, and something that’s wrong. A thing can feel bad and be right, and it can feel good and be wrong.

12. If you need to stop for any reason in a public place, move off to the side first.

13. Before you share an interesting “fact” on Facebook, take thirty seconds to Google it first, to see if you’re spreading made-up bullshit.

14. Clean things up right away, unless your messes tend to improve with age.

15. Consciously plan your life, or others will do it for you.

16. Be suspicious when someone uses the words “Justice” and “Deserve” a lot. Be suspicious when you use them yourself.

17. Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Unused and unappreciated things make us feel bad.

18. Expect people to get offended sometimes when you try to tell them what to do. Even if you think it’s good advice 🙂

19. Once in a while, imagine what it would be like if you really did lose all your data and had only your current backups.

20. Spend as long as it takes — five or ten years even — to move towards a line of work that feels well-suited to you.

21. Rediscover board games. They’re still tons of fun.

22. Try making small, humble presents instead of buying big ones, and see how different it feels for both you and the recipient.

23. To eat fewer calories, eat a lot slower than normal and see what changes.

24. Watch experts perform their chosen art whenever you get a chance. There’s something really grounding about it.

25. Avoid arguing about politics, except for entertainment value. By the time it’s an argument, nobody’s listening.

26. Ledger all your income, purchases and expenses, at least for a whole month. You can’t help but discover wasteful spending. It’s like giving yourself a raise.

27. When someone disagrees with you, try to understand what needs and fears are behind their stance. Yours probably aren’t much different.

28. When driving, pretend the other drivers are all friends and relatives. It makes the driving experience friendlier, and often hilarious.

29. Don’t act while you’re still angry. Anger makes the wrong things seem right, and remorse lasts way longer than anger.

30. Understand that what’s dangerous and what’s illegal are always going to be different, and need to be. It doesn’t always make sense to criminalize something just because it can be harmful.

31. Don’t be late. Everyone hates waiting for late people.

32. Read Richard Carlson’s classic Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Or read it again if it’s been a while. Fifteen years after I first read it, I can’t think of a more helpful book.

33. Be aware of the complex, systemic nature of the world’s biggest problems, and our habit of framing them as simple ones with clear villains and victims.

34. When you’re with a loved one, pretend momentarily that they’re actually gone from your life, and that you’re just remembering this ordinary moment with them.

35. Make of point of sitting and chatting with at least one local whenever you travel. It will transform your view of the place. [It’s easy to meet a local resident for coffee using couchsurfing.org]

36. Experiment with meditation. It gives you tools to mitigate nearly every thing human beings complain about — fear, boredom, loss, envy, pain, sadness, confusion, and doubt — yet remains unpopular in the West.

37. Give classical music another shot every few years.

38. Read a bit about some of the “isms” you normally dismiss — socialism, capitalism, conservatism, feminism, anarchism. There are probably more good ideas there than you thought.

39. Be wary of declaring yourself a “_____ist” though. Making an identity out of your beliefs is bound to make you less objective.

40. Picture yourself at your own funeral. Imagine what they are thinking.

41. Donate clothes that you don’t feel good wearing.

42. Practice opening up to minor discomfort when it happens — really letting yourself feel it instead of resisting it. Everything becomes easier to handle.

43. Listen to Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” slowed down to 33 rpm, at least once in your life.

44. Don’t make jokes about people’s names or bodies, even if you think they would laugh.

45. Make a point of enjoying the walk across the parking lot.

46. Understand the concept of “privilege,” but don’t use it as a slur. Use your privilege for good.

47. Don’t limit your compassion to people who don’t cause any harm (because there are none.)

48. Be aware of the intoxicating effect of bad moods. A bad mood usually means things are better than they look.

49. Once in a while, imagine that this moment is the very first moment of your life, and then build a future from there.

50. Go to your city’s low-key ethnic restaurants instead of flashy chain establishments — not to “help out the little guy” but because they’re better and cheaper.

51. Avoid being the least sober person in the room, unless you’re the only person in the room.

52. Go to New York, at least once.

53. Consider keeping a bucket list that you take seriously. They stave off complacency.

54. Remember that you’re essentially no different from prehistoric humans, except that you have tools and advantages they would find ridiculous.

55. If life ever feels like it’s too loud and busy, go hang out at the library.

56. Never hide from truths about your financial position. If you’re afraid to know your bank balance, you have a problem bigger than money problems.

57. If you think dancing isn’t for you, try it again sometime.

58. When you’re about to buy something, think about what feeling you’re actually after. Ultimately we only want things because of how they promise to make us feel.

59. Floss every day. You can fool yourself but you can’t fool your dentist, or your teeth.

60. Be extra kind to people while they are at work, especially servers, clerks, and tech support staff.

61. Whenever you’re being contradicted, try not to get caught up in being defensive. You’re either right, or you get to learn something new today.

62. At least consider taking religion’s five central no-no’s seriously: don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t kill, don’t harm people with your reproductive urges, and don’t drink so much that you forget the other four.

63. Own at least one plant. They’ll never judge you, but they’ll let you know if you’re being careless.

64. Try not to let a week go by without having lunch or coffee with a friend.

65. Do 30-day experiments for fun and sport — try out a new way of doing something for a while. Even if they’re train wrecks you always learn something about yourself.

66. Appeal to your friends for their expertise. You get good advice, they feel valued.

67. Write people letters. Everyone loves getting letters.

Source: tita-44

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Reaching Your Full Potential

Ever wonder what your life would be like if you lived up to your full potential? Would your body be healthier? Your skin clearer? Bank account bigger? I think about these things all the time, and, judging my a previous post, you guys do to. Below is a chart designed to help all of us live up to our full potential. I’ve broken it down into time frames to help keep you from getting overwhelmed. Write the chart down and hang it someplace where you can see it all the time.

EVERY MORNING

  • Stretch. First thing. Really give your body enough time to wake up. Touch your toes. Roll out your shoulders. Do not hit snooze!
  • Do your full skincare routine. Do whatever works for you and your complexion. Be gentle and consistent.
  • Brush your teeth and floss. I used to be a big floss-skipper too, but you’d be amazed at how dig of a difference it makes. Rinse with a whitening mouthwash. I use one by Crest, and I notice a major difference in my teeth’s overall whiteness in just a few days.
  • Give yourself enough time to get ready. Whether you’re a wash-and-go kind of girl, or someone who spends an hour doing a full contouring routine before class (and either one is fine!), make sure you aren’t rushing. If you need to wake up a few minutes earlier than normal, so be it. Rushing sets an awful, stressed-out tone for the rest of the day. Allow yourself to be relaxed before taking on the day.
  • Eat something. I’m not going to say eat a big breakfast, because some people (myself included) just can’t eat in the morning. But you should eat, or at least bring a little something with you to work or school. If you can’t eat a full breakfast, grab a fruit! You won’t be as hungry come lunch time, making you less likely to gorge yourself.
  • Shower. You can do this at night, in the morning, whatever. Again, this is something you should allow some time for. I don’t wash my hair every day, but I do condition it every day (from the ears down). Scrub yourself with a delicious-smelling body wash. If you shave, make yourself as smooth as a dolphin, dude. If you don’t, then don’t and don’t ever ever ever let anyone make you feel bad or weird about it. When you get out of the shower, wrap yourself in a fluffy towel and totally slather your sexy self with lotion. Top to bottom. Do it as soon as you can post-shower so it can really sink in.
  • Put leave-in condition throughout your damp hair and comb it through.
  • Put on an outfit that makes you feel good! So important!
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Take a look at your daily to-do list. Knock out the most pressing stuff first. Take pride when you cross things off your list.
  • Make your bed! Oh my god, make your bed. Do it. Do it. Do it.

EVERY AFTERNOON

  • Follow the “touch it once” approach. This is a truly life-changing thing. When a task is in front of you, no matter how big or small, just do it right then and there. How many times have you gotten a work email or homework assignment and thought, “Eh, I’ll do it later”? And then later never comes? Once something pops up, do it once. Squash it and be done. Cross things off your list and feel like a badass.
  • Try to go for a walk at lunch. Even one little lap around the block or campus will reenergize you like nobody’s business.
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Be present. This is so hard for me too, but you have to make a major effort to be present in whatever you’re doing. Be engaged and plugged-in and just exist in the moment. Give 100 percent.
  • Be friendly to friends and strangers. A smile goes a long way.
  • Eat something. Eat what you packed for lunch (see below) and take a break from working while you do it. You need “you time”!

EVERY EVENING

  • Take your makeup off as soon as you’re in for the night. Wash your face with your full routine and let your skin have a break.
  • Workout. You can also do this in the morning. Whatever works for you. Make a great playlist and go hard af. Get your cardio in. Get your strength training in. Earn every freaking sweat bead forming on your forehead. Earn your shower!
  • Knock out your homework. Life is infinitely better you don’t have anything hanging over your head. Half the time, the energy and emotion you spent dreading/putting off your work is ten times worse than the work itself.
  • Make a list of what needs to be done tomorrow. It’ll set you up for success the next day, and you won’t forget anything!
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Lay out your clothes for tomorrow. This will save you SO MUCH TIME in the morning omg I can’t even tell you how important this is.
  • Eat something great. And once you’ve decided to be done eating for the night, be done. Brush your teeth so you can’t eat again.
  • After brushing, do a whitening treatment. Whether it’s classic baking soda, a Crest white strip, or a laser. Do something. And floss! Retainers in too, ladies 0:)
  • Relax! Take a few hours to do what YOU want to do. Scroll through Tumblr, binge on some Netflix, FaceTime gossip with your friends, anything. Do whatever makes you happiest.
  • Shut the electronics off an hour before you want to go to bed. Put your phone on sleep mode. If you stare at the screen, it will keep you awake and alert and you won’t be able to fall asleep. A good night’s sleep is crucial for weightless and general happiness lol
  • Do a quick sweep of your room and see if there’s anything you can put away real quick. A clean space is a happy space.
  • Crawl into your bed (aren’t you happy you took the time to make it?!) and read a book by lamplight for a while. When you start to feel sleepy, go to sleep. Don’t push it. You kicked ass today and you deserve rest.

EVERY WEEKEND

  • Do something with your friends. It just has to be one thing. Even if you’re just hanging out at the coffee shop, spending time with your squad will make you a better, happier person.
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Do something just for you. Set your laptop up in the bathroom and watch a Netflix marathon while you take a bubble bath. Buy an old school bottle of Mr. Bubbles ($3 at Target!) and really just soak. Relax. Light a candle.
  • Do something creative. You can read a book, write, blog, draw, code, anything. It just has to be something that speaks to your passion.
  • Track your progress. Just do this once a week so it doesn’t become all-consuming. And remember that non-scale victories are just as important as shedding pounds.
  • Take the time to be grateful. Tell your friend how much you admire her taste in music. Mention to your mom how much you love her cooking and how happy you are that she takes care of you. Thank your teaching after an especially interesting lecture. When you do something awesome, take a moment to admire yourself. Be grateful for even the little things.

 

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The Art of Adulting 3

More things about life and succesful adulting, from a bonafide adult:

  • Invest in a durable set of pots and pans, a package of sponges, decent oven mitts, and a few potholders. You will want them.
  • Never leave wooden utensils in water. They will soften and warp. These need to be cleaned immediately after use.
  • Sticky pots and pans can be soaked to make scrubbing easier. You can also get a little scrubby brush to help take the crusty bits off. Just be careful that you don’t scrub off the nonstick coating, and NEVER use soap on a wok or a cast-iron frying pan.
  • Buy quart-sized freezer bags and use them to store single pounds of ground beef, pairs of chicken breasts, fish filets, frozen fruits and veggies…anything that needs freezing. You can save a lot of money on food that way. Just make sure that you press the air out of the bag before sealing it and write on the label what’s in the bag and the date you put it in the freezer.
  • You can “day-dot” with leftovers too, so you’re not wondering if that Chinese takeaway is still good when it’s on the point of gaining sentience and needed to be chucked three days ago.
  • On that note, takeaway food is good for about two days as leftovers, if you get it into proper containers and into the fridge right away. If you leave it sitting out all night, it’s no good.
  • If you’re going to reheat something in the microwave, put a paper towel over it to prevent splashing, especially if it’s something like chili or pasta.
  • Check allrecipes.com for easy meals you can make for very little money or with whatever you happen to have in the house.
  • Ice cube trays. Always have two and keep them filled in hot weather.
  • Put a pad of paper somewhere in your kitchen that you use as a grocery list. If you want to make a certain dish, write down the ingredients before you go to the store. If you run out of something, write it down for your next trip. Few things are more frustrating that getting home from a trip to the market and realizing you forgot something you really needed.
  • Buy toilet paper and paper towels in bulk whenever possible. Just do it. Trust me. And ALWAYS replace the roll the second it runs out, or you’ll regret it later.
  • Clean your bathroom at least as often as you clean your kitchen. There’s a similar amount of daily activity going on in there and just as much opportunity for grossness to happen. A simple spray cleaner, some disinfecting wipes, a few paper towels, and a Magic Eraser should get the job done. (Seriously, those things live up to their name!)
  • If you or a roommate get sick, clean EVERYTHING the second you get better. Use disinfecting wipes on things like sinks, doorknobs, and tabletops. Try to keep dirty tissues contained; plastic grocery bags are GREAT for this and you can just toss them when they’re full.
  • If your financial institution offers online banking, USE IT. Check your balance daily. You don’t have to know to a penny what’s in your account, but you should be aware of where your funds are, when your bills are due, and what you can afford to spend on groceries.

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The Art of Adulting 2

More things about life and succesful adulting, from a bonafide adult:

  • There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
  • Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
  • Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
  • Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
  • DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
  • If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
  • Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
  • If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
  • Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
  • Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently.
  • Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
  • Sales, coupons, and loyalty cards are your friends. Take full advantage of them.
  • Do your laundry as often as time and finances allow, and pay attention to those labels! Clothes will last longer if they are washed properly. Also, if you have sensitive skin, there are detergents for that. Nobody wants itchy clothes.
  • Own at least two pairs of comfortable shoes. One should be for walking or jogging, the other should be for nicer things like the office or going out to a nice restaurant. Your feet will thank you.
  • Those unmatched socks whose mates have fecked off to Paris or something can be reused as dusting sleeves. Pull it over your hand, spritz it with some Pledge or other dusting cleaner, and wipe down your furniture and surfaces.
  • It’s important to dust and vacuum regularly. It prevents the build-up of allergens, mold spores, leftover sick germs, bad smells, and general yuckiness. If you can thrift or secondhand a vacuum cleaner, DO IT. They can be expensive, especially if you’re on a budget.
  • If you have pets, clean up after them DAILY and make sure they always have access to fresh, clean water. Wash out their bowls at least once a week.
  • If your tap water smells like pool water or doesn’t taste right, don’t drink it. It may be palatable, but some areas may have chemicals or heavy metals in the water supply that can cause you lots of problems. Purchase gallons from the store if you need to, and don’t skimp on giving it to the pets.
  • Invest in a set of baking dishes and a decent set of tupperware. They’re fairly inexpensive and you can always ask you folks for it for Christmas. Baking dishes greatly increase the number of things you can cook quickly and easily, and those storage containers will hold leftovers.

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Resume Template: Grey&White

Already have a resume or CV but it looks dull and boring? Well, use this (or one of them that are being published in this series) and make your resume pop out.

Down below you have a download file for .psd (Photoshop) file that you can edit so it will fit your needs.

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[Download]

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Don’t forget to share this post so others can spice up their resume as well.

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The Art of Adulting 1

Some things about life and succesful adulting, from a bonafide adult:

  • Even if you get along great with your family, you will get along even better with them after moving out
  • Generic is almost always just as good as name brand
  • Just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist
  • You will go to the store to buy something under 10€ and your card will get rejected. No one will judge
  • Thrift stores
  • Everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them, to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
  • You will screw up. A lot. You live and you learn. And when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
  • Do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
  • You can’t put dishsoap in the dishwasher.
  • If you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
  • Never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
  • The best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
  • Sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness.
  • Do not buy generic brand spaghetti sauce either.
  • Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.
  • Dollar store batteries work just as well as store brand.
  • Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
  • Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
  • Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice. Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
  • Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

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